New Life...in Downward Facing Dog?

For 28 years, since I walked the aisle in that Baptist church, I've been stopped by 2 Corinthians 5:17: "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; old things have passed away and all things have become new." I did everything in my power to demonstrate my commitment to Christ and the countenance of an ambassador. I was a believer in Christ for 28 years before I became a follower of Jesus. I fully trusted Christ, but never felt the liberty that comes with freedom. That all changed at Holy Yoga camp in August 2008.

This is not a new story. How many times have I "rededicated" my life to Jesus? We've all heard the familiar cycle - an emotional moment of surrender that gradually disappears as the thorns of daily life rise up to choke it. It's a story about the power of the will, the power of submission, which is heartfelt but not deep enough to take root. Better nutrition, a good hormone balancer, the right supplements were the avenues I chose, because those were things I could control. I was living on the precipice of insanity, just grateful to see the sun rise and set another day. I was beating myself into submission, but loving myself was a far away ideal. The result was a weary body that longed for heaven, that didn't embrace the fact that the Kingdom of God is now!

When I came to the bottom of myself (many have), I was in downward dog, totally surrendered. My heart has been in this position before, but not in combination with a posture that rendered me completely at His command. This was my cocoon. If you look at how a caterpillar evolves into a butterfly, first she knows that once she builds that cocoon, life will never be the same. A transformation is about to take place. Every strand of silk builds a chamber - prison? - in which she will undergo the most significant transformation of her life. After the cocoon is complete, she rests in a metamophasis that doesn't really change her physical composition but for one thing - she can fly! Once a butterfly is free from her cocoon, all the challenges are the same, but her wings give her the ability, the agility to navigate her life in a new way. She does this with grace and beauty.

Yes, I know that butterflies also have a limited lifespan; depending on the species, they will live for anywhere from 2 days to 10 months. This tripped me up at first, but not for long. You see, the apostle Paul tells us in I Cor 15:31, "I die daily." If we are new in Christ, we have to daily lay down ego, pride, our agenda, our possessions...all in exchange for Kingdom riches. For years I struggled to make sure everybody knew what a good Christian I was. The very definition of striving says, "beating aimlesssly against the wind." That is a perfect picture of my daily struggle the past 28 years to be all that Paul instructs the church to be. I worked really hard to break free from the chains of my passed - partially removed from the cocoon but my wings were clipped, bound by those threads of "not yet." The more I struggled, the entangled I became.

In my 40th year, God began to redeem the years the locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25). A friend uncovered in prayer, and set me free from, a mass of spiritual chains that have bound me since my childhood. But just as a house swept clean (Matthew 12:44) needs to be filled with the Holy Spirit lest the enemy comes back to host a bigger party, my soul was still struggling against these occupants. I was beating them out on a daily basis and sometimes so tired that I let them just hang out on the porch, knocking, knocking, knocking. I put my fingers in my ears and went , "La, la, la, la, la," but I didn't know how to make them leave.

I came to the HolyYoga retreat to get certified as a teacher. Was I in for a surprise! When you surrender yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually before God, you are creating a space for the Holy Spirit to move and live in. I came to learn some new yoga moves, but I left that week a totally new creature in Christ, free at last. Watch me fly!